


Falls Tale: Amulet Path

by sporkz



Series: Falls Tale [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dipper is a nervous wreck™, Gen, I'm awful at summaries just read it if you think Undertale is rad, Minor Character Death, Monster Falls AU (kind of), Undertale-inspired AU, implied major character death, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5343881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporkz/pseuds/sporkz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just one path of many. Dipper Pines will free his sister and himself from the underground, even if it means tapping into a power he doesn't entirely understand...<br/>(an Undertale-inspired fic, with a hefty sprinkle of Monster Falls)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ruins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pro Tip: read the second work in the series if you're all 'uh, how did we get here so quickly? how did Dip-Dop and May-Belle get here? wtf?'

McGucket bounded off down a crumbling corridor, looking behind his shoulder ever so often to ensure the two children were still following. The two children were humans, a species McGucket had not seen in his ruins for a decade. His broken thoughts wandered off to the last human he had encountered: he couldn't remember much beside their voice shouting at him to let them pass. McGucket didn't recall where the human had gone, yet he vaguely hoped the two new humans didn't want to leave him alone like _that_ human had.

"So, uh, where are we going, McGucket?" the boy, Dipper, spoke up. His clothes and hair were still dripping with water and he was shivering alongside his sister, Mabel. A part of Dipper was convinced that this was all a strange dream concocted from the trauma of him and his sister being swept off by a river. The only thing that stopped him from believing his theory entirely was that the two strange creatures they had met appeared to be very real: 'Bill', the floating triangle, had left his bones aching from attacking his soul, whilst the wizard McGucket's shrieks and squawks were far too ear-ringing to be imagined . McGucket stopped at the end of the ruined corridor, which branched off into two directions.

"Hmm, we gotta warm them bones of yours, first!" he declared, snapping his fingers and heading left at a quickened pace. The twins followed him, entering a wide room overgrown with vines and with a series of stone panels scattered across the floor.

 

McGucket jumped up and down on the spot, his arms waving as the wings attached to his arms flapped madly. He also squawked his name several times and cackled.

"Aw," Mabel giggled whilst Dipper tried to back away slowly, "he's excited about something!"

"You're darn tooting, I am!" McGucket hopped closer much to Dipper's discomfort, "these are my death cannons, they're like my own kids!" he proudly pointed to the slabs on the ground, before faltering to scratch at his beard, "did I ever have any kids? I don't recall... was there one or two? Huh, and where would they have ran off to?"

"They look like a bunch of stones to me," Dipper mumbled, prompting a scolding 'bro-bro!' from Mabel. McGucket was brought back to the twins, grinning and pulling a chunk of yellow crystal from his overall's front pocket.

"You watch and learn, boy!" he tossed the chunk forward, watching it bounce off a stone with no effect, within an instance McGucket hunched himself over and returned to his muttering state, "aw, shucks, Fiddleford... you ain't even good at settin' off your own darned trap, no wonder you're all holed up alone in here..." he hiccuped as his wings folded back in despair.

Dipper eyed Mabel, who had the misty-eyed face of sympathy she often gave anyone in need of help, "let's just leave him, Mabel, he's nuts," he tried to whisper to her, but McGucket sprung up before either twin could do anything.

"I'm a wizard, old wizard McGucket!" he announced, as if remembering this himself, "I don't need any newfangled gizmo to warm up a couple of kids!" he raised his hands in the direction of the twins, his face falling into deep concentration.

"Whoa! We, er, appreciate the help, but-!" Dipper dodged the range of the sudden amber light spinning around the talons of the wizard, which were wriggling as the monster began to start chanting what sounded like nonsense.

"Dipper, look!" Mabel tugged his arm, as the light enveloped her and started gently fanning warm air onto her, "it's toasty!" she beamed. Dipper initially drew his hand away from the light, but as Mabel started holding up her sweater to dry it off he shuffled into the amber light. It felt like a warm fire, only acted much faster and did not smell of choking smoke. The uncomfortable dampness of the twins' clothes soon faded into a warm tingle on their skin, and when McGucket drew his hands back to hook at the straps of his overalls they immediately missed the warmth.

"That was awesome!" Mabel enthusiastically yelled after pulling her sweater back over her body. Her voice carried across the room and caused McGucket to grin wildly and start dancing on the spot whilst spouting more nonsense words. The twins watched with amusement until he happened to step backwards onto a nearby slab, pushing it down with the weight of his taloned feet.

 

Instantly, fireballs began to shoot from holes in the wall and ceiling, which the twins and McGucket barely avoided. After a few seconds of frantic dodging, a fireball caught a few feathers on McGucket's left wing and he let out a shriek, stepping off the slab to flap his wing until the flames were gone. The fireballs stopped shooting out of the walls, and Dipper quickly pulled McGucket away from the slabs by his thin wrist.

"Hey, now! We need to get over there! Where were you draggin' me off to?" the old man spoke with confusion in his tone, his feathers; charred and untouched alike; ruffling. Dipper let go of his wrist with a cringe as the fluff on his wrist ruffled with his feathers.

"Didn't you just see what happened?!" Dipper replied exasperatedly.

"Yeah, I saw my fireball death cannons were workin' as intendiddle!" McGucket nodded, "anyway, you kids avoid touching any of the slabs, the more we get across the room, the more small the spaces get between the fire!"

Dipper made a small noise of disbelief, "why would you build this?!" he asked.

McGucket scratched his head, "hm, I don't know!" he shrugged merrily, "anyhoo, there's somethin' you kids will like on the other side of the room! I'll see ya over there!" McGucket straightened up as best as possible, gesturing for the twins to get back before flapping his wings and lifting himself off the ground. He clumsily flew to the other side of the room which seemed devoid of slabs, landing face-first on the ground.

"I'm not getting burned alive!" Dipper squeaked, whilst Mabel started to skip across the room, "Mabel!" he followed, nervously tiptoeing and scouring the floor for the pressure plates.

 

When they both made it over to McGucket, Dipper was convinced his heart was about to give out.

"Hoo! That was some mighty impressive footwork!" McGucket cheered, "through here, through here!" then he pushed open a stone door that; much like the others in the ruins; had a slashed eye. Mabel was about to follow him, when Dipper grabbed her shoulder.

"Mabel," he whispered, "what if this guy is dangerous _and_ crazy? He nearly got us killed back there!"

Mabel patted his own shoulder, "he's just a lonely wizard, Dipper! And, besides, maybe he knows a way home. These ruins could lead us back to the surface!"

Dipper frowned in response, "isn't this freaking you out? First, we meet a talking _triangle_ and now-"

McGucket popped his head around the door, opening it slowly, "there ain't nothin' in here other than vines and death cannons," he said, though had a patient look in his otherwise vacant eyes, "but you kids can take all the time you want! I'll just be in here, being old McGucket!" then he closed the door, laughing as he did so.

"Like that!" Dipper gestured to the door, "isn't _that_ weird?! Is he supposed to be a bird or a man or-"

"-Dipper Pines!" Mabel crossed her arms, "you've been telling me since 3rd grade about paranormal junk, but suddenly you find this  _weird_? Come on, bro-bro, I can tell McGucket doesn't mean any harm! He wants to be our friend!" she walked past to nudge at the stone door.

"I don't trust him," Dipper sighed, "I thought the other guy we met was okay, but..." he checked around him, suddenly feeling like he was being watched by the very entity he was speaking of.

"Relax, Dipper!" Mabel smiled encouragingly, "let's see what McGucket wanted to show us!" Dipper nodded reluctantly at her proposal, helping her push open the door. The eyes he felt on him left the moment he stepped through the door.

 

The door lead to a small room which McGucket was oddly absent from. In the middle of the room was a pedestal that looked like it once displayed a statue, however at present a yellow glass bowl sat atop it.

"Ooh, candy!" Mabel hurried over, grabbing handfuls of wrapped pieces of candy with no hesitance. The candies were shaped like small pentagrams with ovals carved into the middle.

"That could have been a trap!" Dipper followed, taking one piece of candy to inspect. He eyed the sign that read: 'take one!' in neat swirled handwriting; although it didn't seem like a trap, Dipper still remained wary.

"It's star-shaped," Mabel pocketed her handful of candy in her sweater, "if it's star-shaped it's trustworthy!"

Her brother hesitantly tucked his single piece of candy in his pocket, "just... don't eat it if it smells weird, okay?" he chewed his bottom lip, "where's McGucket?"

"Through there?" Mabel gestured to the stone door to their left, whilst unwrapping a piece of candy and eating it after taking an exaggerated sniff.

 

McGucket indeed stood waiting for the twins beyond the door, jumping out at them from an undamaged pillar. Dipper let out a high-pitched shriek, flushing when he realised it was the old wizard.

"I scared ya silly!" McGucket laughed. Dipper glowered at him whilst Mabel burst into laughter.

"This candy is really good!" Mabel took another piece of candy from her sweater pocket.

"It sure is! Here in the ruins, it's just me and that Gideon kid... say, maybe _he's_ my son! That would explain why he sticks around! I guess I gotta ask him sometime," McGucket lead the twins further down the narrow hallway they had entered, humming a song to himself as Mabel chewed at her candy loudly. Dipper eyed the walls as they walked, finding the spaces of stone that weren't covered by vines often had eyes engraved into them; which, like all others in the ruins, had been slashed hastily. The three turned around a corner and Dipper spotted a patch of wall that was plastered in more vines than the rest of the hallway. He had little time to investigate, however, since McGucket hurried through the stone door at the end of the hallway and Mabel tugged Dipper to move after him.

 

This room held more stone pillars, some with floating orbs that emitted a soft green light. High above, Dipper noticed a few bats resting on the stone pillars that supported the ceiling, one of which seemed to watch them with big black eyes. The black eyes were just an accompaniment to the returning feeling Dipper got of being watched.

"Did I say that this candy is really good?!" Mabel knocked Dipper forward happily, breaking his eye contact with the lurking bat above.

"You did, Mabel," he mumbled in response, looking back up but finding himself unable to find the unusual bat amongst the others.

"Alright, here's the next trap I set up!" McGucket announced, "ya see those shiny orbs up yonder? Get too close and you'll be thrown up in the air, unable to move without fallin' a great deal!" he cackled, though acted as if this was a fun game he had wanted to play for a long time.

"Right, and how do we get to the door over there?" Dipper dryly replied, looking at the door across from where they stood, their destination raised on a platform connected by inaccessible collapsed stairs.

"Why, you fly, obviously!" McGucket chuckled, "like this, just use your wings and-" he trailed off, slowly halting in flapping his wings when Dipper held up his arms to show he had none. Then, McGucket yelled his own name a few times before flying off to the platform, avoiding the pillars narrowly.

Mabel raised her hand and called out, "can the _orbs_ make us fly?"

"If you want 'em to!" McGucket nodded from the platform, "you two have fun!" then he went through the door, and before Dipper could react Mabel sprinted off into the path of an orb. She was sent spiralling into the air and startled a few bats. Gravity appeared to no longer apply to her, so long as she stayed within the boundaries of the orb's soft light.

"Woohoo!" she yelled, floating on the spot, "floating candy party!" then she proceeded to cram candy into her mouth.

"Wait," Dipper glanced at her and then the orb allowing her to float, "don't move, Mabel!" he went over to the pillar where the orb rested, looking up and down at it before finding a foothold.

"How come it hasn't taken you up either, Dip?" Mabel frowned after finishing off her treats, looking down at her brother.

"I dunno. But... wait, they have eyes," he pointed out, shuddering at the thought of the beady green lights that he had only just noticed. The orb controlling Mabel had its eye fixated on her, paying no attention to Dipper; the other orbs in the room, however, could be seen watching him with their pinprick gazes.

"They _do_ ," Mabel looked around, "they're kinda cute, actually!"

"Do I need to remind you about the last one-eyed _thing_ we came into contact with?" Dipper scoffed, but carefully took the orb from its pillar. The orb felt warm on his hand and moved about gently as if it were a small animal. When he climbed down from the pillar, Mabel followed the orb from above.

"It likes us!" Mabel happily commented, as Dipper carefully lead her and the orb past the other pillars and to the platform. When they reached the platform, Mabel glanced down before springing forward and landing on the platform in front of her. The orb reacted instantly, tearing itself from Dipper's hand and lifting him up. It started to carry him back to its pillar slowly, but Mabel acted quickly and pulled him towards her.

 

The scene had left Dipper slightly shocked: he had watched terror flood his sister's eyes, for a brief moment, before being painfully yanked forward. Mabel had managed to get him halfway onto the platform, but his legs had hit the side of the structure and likely bruised them. Then, he felt something effortlessly lift him up and drop him to the ground whilst he was attempting to get on the platform properly. Something felt _off_ about this as he got to his feet: the orb that had been floating away returned to its spot, which was much further than original, and there were three pillars surrounding the platform which Dipper did not remember seeing. Also, when he looked to Mabel he saw she had scraped her arm on a small chunk of yellow crystal and was lying as if she has just been dropped.

"Are we on the other side of the room?" Dipper asked, helping Mabel stand whilst peering around. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw the door McGucket had disappeared through. It sat on a platform slightly lower to theirs and was better lit than their new position.

"How long has this been here?" Mabel tapped the floor with her foot, "I thought there were only two doors in here!" then she lightly touched the door behind her, as if checking it was real. The doors sprung open, making her jump back with a squeak. The bat that had watched Dipper intently emerged from the shadows of the room beyond the door. Blue light transformed the bat into a pale chubby creature with fangs and a sickly sweet voice, "come in and make yourselves at home! I've been _dying_ to meet you two!"

 


	2. Gleeful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A monster can change as fast as the wind, especially where human souls are concerned.

Dipper expected Mabel to run forward excitedly and greet the small humanoid standing before them, but instead she held onto her brother's arm and stayed rooted to the spot.

"Are you scared of lil ol' me, sweetie pie?" the boyish monster addressed her flippantly, "shucks, forgive my manners! I should've introduced myself! I'm Gideon Gleeful, the one who put that bowl of candy out for any... _visitors_ , such as yourselves."

Mabel relaxed, shaking his outstretched hand and moving away from Dipper for a moment. He hardly noticed, his eyes transfixed on the turquoise amulet placed neatly on Gideon's neck tie. The amulet gave off a quiet background noise that nobody commented on, leaving Dipper to wonder if he was the only one that could faintly hear it.

"I'm Mabel Pines," Mabel greeted, retrieving her hand when Gideon refused to let go of it, "and my brother is Dipper Pines."

Gideon nodded approvingly, though shot Dipper a dirty look when Mabel wasn't looking, "oh, I had a feelin'. I've had dreams about two pines for weeks now... though I must say the one on my right always looked much better than the other. That must have represented the _lovely_ Pines daughter!" Mabel, on Gideon's right, giggled at the comment and wink.

"Aw, I'm flattered, Gideon!" she wandered into his room, Dipper following with gritted teeth.

"Shouldn't we be getting back to McGucket?" he grumbled, as the candles dotted around the room lit themselves and Gideon offered Mabel a plush chair to sit on.

"Re-lax, Dip! He told us to have fun, remember?" Mabel took the seat, "ooh, sophisticated!" then she beamed when a saucer of tea presented itself before her, sniffing at the drink curiously. It smelled flowery, as if it were perfume rather than tea. Mabel found the smell interesting rather than off-putting and wondered what it tasted like.

"Make yourself comfortable," Gideon bowed, going to sit in his own seat opposite. He managed to sneak a snide scowl at Dipper before he sat down.

Mabel shuffled about in her seat, getting comfortable, before lifting the teacup to her mouth.

"Don't drink that!" Dipper rushed over to her and seized the cup from her hands, splashing tea across the faded blue carpet.

"Bro-Bro!" Mabel gasped, but before she could ask what was wrong their 'host' spoke up, clearly irritated.

"Now, _Dipper_ _Pines_ ," Gideon folded his arms, reminding Dipper of an unamused toddler on a high chair, "I'd like if you showed some manners to your dear sister."

" _I'd_ like to know your intent," Dipper growled back, the background noise of faint whispers rose to hisses, "you were watching us earlier, in the last room. You're planning something!"

Gideon's eyebrows narrowed in irritation, "all I'm planning is a nice chat with the two of you," his words didn't soothe Dipper in the slightest: the levitating items that Gideon seemed to control effortlessly made his thoughts go back to how carelessly Bill Cipher had handled his soul. He had no reason to trust or believe the triangular being, but his earlier warning of monsters being capable of 'far worse' than him had put Dipper on high alert.

"See, bro? He just wants to chat, he's..." his sister trailed off, finding with a sinking feeling that Dipper had turned even more defensive.

 

She stood up anxiously when Dipper started darting his eyes around the room for something to defend himself with.

"Get away from him!" Dipper called to Mabel, grabbing a loose stone on the floor and hurling it at Gideon. The stone flew through the air, being repelled instantly by a flash of blue light. Then, a pile of furniture rose up in the same blue light and surrounded Dipper. The seat behind Mabel also rose up, knocking her back onto it, before levitating in place.

"Human souls are _supposed_ to be capable of great feats of strength," Gideon held the pile of furniture in place, ready to crush the boy in front of him if need be, "I thought I would need to catch you two off guard to take your souls, but it turns out you're both _weak_!" he clicked his fingers, a red book whizzed to his side and he flicked through it angrily, "I'm startin' to wonder if it's even worth taking your souls!"

Mabel watched the sudden change of disposition with a sinking feeling in her chest, before calling out to the monster, "let us go!"

The red book was tossed to the floor with little care, "and _why_ would I do that, sweet-pea?" Gideon sent her chair in front of him, "your souls still hold a mighty amount of value. In fact, they're in high demand down here!" she stared at him, eyes widened with shock.

Dipper pushed through the furniture pile, taking advantage of the lapse in Gideon's concentration towards his levitation spells.

"You stay away from her!" he yelled.

"Yeah, get back, weirdo!" Mabel yelled in response, jumping off her seat and pushing Gideon over, "and you're _not_ hurting my brother, either!"

Gideon scrambled up and readjusted his dishevelled hair, "I tried to kill you nicely, but if you wanna suffer then so be it!" he screamed, blue light surrounding the girl and knocking her back.

 

She fell against the wall of the room and groaned in pain.

Dipper grabbed Gideon's leg when he tried to float over to her, before he was kicked off with a fanged hiss from the monster. Dipper looked up at the glowing amulet hanging off a smug Gideon, the background whispers rising in volume and into semi-understandable words.

_'Save...'_

_'Fight...'_

_'Kill...'_

Then, Gideon proceeded to hunt down Mabel whilst she shakily sat up.

"Dipper!" she yelled, being plucked from the ground in a sickly blue light, a light unlike the green orb that had gently lifted her in the last room they'd been in. Dipper rushed to her, hopping over a dresser that had been dumped on the ground.

"Dipper, _forget about me_! Find McGucket, and-!" she was cut off by what Dipper could only assume was her soul being wrenched from her body, a dazzling pink light that left Gideon hissing. Her body was thrown to the floor carelessly, and Gideon held the light in the air in victory, wincing yet attempting to appear triumphant. The light swirled around him until all that could be seen was a morphing silhouette beneath the glow. The voices in the room had risen to howls and Dipper could only watch helplessly, his stomach churning as his mind repeated the word 'no' over and over again.

Then, the scene stopped and was plunged into grey-scale, the only noise now being the hushed whispers of the amulet and then a sly voice:

"So, what did I tell ya, _Pine Tree_?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is Mabel dead forever? is Dip gonna sell his soul to triangle satan? will McGucket learn to not leave children unattended in dangerous ruins?  
> I can confirm that the answer to ALL these questions are: maybe.  
> Also, have fun with the cliffhanger... I am so sorry.


	3. A Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill offers Dipper a deal he can't refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter summary is literally the corniest thing I've ever written.

Dipper felt nothing aside from hot tears on his face and an overwhelming anger. An anger that greatly amused the one-eyed triangle when he appeared before the human child.

" _You_! _You_ could have stopped this!" Dipper shouted, swinging a punch at the creature, however his fist flew straight through it. Rather than reacting with the same anger as the boy, the creature snickered.

The childish sound still continued with his next words, a feat only capable of a strange being such as Bill Cipher, "I _can_ stop this," he held out a hand, and before Dipper could reply continued talking, "trust me, kid! I can take you back so you can have another shot at it," his yellow body flashed with images of the tormented face of Gideon, then his amulet lying on the ground and a red book with a six-fingered hand emblazoned on the cover. The book, Dipper noticed, was the one Gideon had been paging through. Bill gave Dipper a moment of silence to think, though eyed him with impatience. He gave off the impression that time was ticking for the both of them, and that Dipper shouldn't keep him waiting; therefore, he conjured a response without much thought.

"How is that possible?" Dipper questioned, edging away from both Bill and the frozen scene of devastation he had witnessed. The warped form of Gideon could still be seen behind the white mist of his sister's soul. His back hit the wall of the room, though it felt only partially solid, as if Dipper could break through the wall if he applied enough force. None of it felt real, yet Dipper had watched it unfold with his own eyes.

"Who cares? It can save Shooting Star and that's all you should care about... y'know, if you're a good brother," the tone from the creature was that of thinly-veiled disgust.

Dipper shuffled closer, "fine, for Mabel," he cautiously declined the spindly hand that shot out towards him, "but what's the catch?" he added, and Bill burst into obnoxious laughter.

"Ha, I like _you_ , kid!" he wiped an invisible tear from his eye, "you're a very smart guy, Pine Tree. You know how things work already, and this is just the _first_ time..." he waved a hand, changing the subject before Dipper could question his words, "...all I ask in return is a small favour. I won't go into details, but let's just say there might be a moment where I need a smart human's brain," Dipper barely flinched when Bill conjured the ghostly image of a blue brain out of nowhere.

"Is that literal, or...?"

Bill laughed again, "oh, boy, I _wish_! Nah... I mean, I might need your high IQ,, _might._ That thing in your skull might hold some answers, you just need to give me the green light to jump in there when I need to, _if_ I need to. They say you humans only use 5% of your brain anyway," he twisted his hand forward slightly more, wriggling the black claws attached, "oh, and I should probably mention that the longer we spend here, the more our grip on the time-line slackens. If we waste any more time gossiping, you'll have the honour of being stuck here with me... forever."

Dipper, who had been preparing to question where the triangular creature had got his false trivia from, changed his priorities and shook the strange clawed hand. He definitely didn't want to be trapped with Bill Cipher 'forever'.

Black claws dug into his hand and confirmed that he _couldn't_ be imagining things, the claws hurt his flesh and no dream could replicate pain,"a final word of advice, Pine Tree," the words rung in his ears as colours swirled around him, " _trust nobody._ "

 

Dipper opened his eyes. The room was in the same disarray and Dipper was standing in the doorway of the room rather than surrounded by furniture. Gideon was flicking through the red book with his back turned to Dipper, completely unaware of his prey having escaped.

"Dip-" Mabel cut herself off, her eyes wide in confusion when she noticed her brother.

' _Fight..._ ' the amulet hissed, causing Gideon to look up for a moment. He looked to Mabel, who looked away from him, fearing she had given her brother's escape away.

Dipper, meanwhile, looked around the floor until he found a jagged piece of wood from the destruction Gideon caused.

"Gideon!" he called out, the monster twisting around and throwing the book to the floor.

 

Gideon raised his hand and Dipper felt his feet try to rise off the floor, however he dug the soles of his shoes into the floor as best as he could and remained grounded.

"H-How?" Gideon stared in mild horror and Mabel fell to the ground in her chair.

"We don't have to hurt each-other!" Mabel lifted her sweater-clad arms desperately, after seeing Gideon throw his hand up again. Dipper strenuously took a step towards him with his makeshift weapon in his quivering hand.

"Why isn't this damn thing working?!" Gideon howled when he tried once again (and failed) to lift Dipper off the floor, he tore off the amulet and shook it violently. Dipper could barely hear the frustration in his opponent's voice, the amulet's quiet whispers had turned to full-scale howls and screeches the moment he begun to resist its powers.

"Dipper!" Mabel called for him but it fell on deaf ears, and Gideon hissed when the boy was close enough to rise his weapon against the monster.

Gideon warbled a threat that, much like Mabel's call, was unheard by Dipper before the wooden stake was driven deep into his chest.

 

The noise deafened instantly and was replaced with the sound of running sand, accompanied by a pained look from Gideon. The very same look Dipper had got a preview of, in a reality that no longer existed. Then, the monster disintegrated to dust, which piled on top of the wooden stake, amulet and book he had left behind. Dipper looked down at the dust on his shoes and shook it off, before stooping down to take the dust-coated items, with what appeared to be very little remorse or guilt. Mabel watched this happen, concern evident on her face as her brother tucked the book under his arm and pocketed Gideon's old belongings.

"These should come in handy," he said, in a cheerful voice he didn't intend on using. It caused him to shiver, he was completely unfazed by what he had done. Was that normal? Was he wrong to have attacked first? Could he have saved Mabel if he chose _not_ to fight?

"Dip?" Mabel kept her distance and Dipper turned to look at her, only just remembering that she was still alive and well in this new timeline.

"Mabel, you're-!" he stopped himself from saying anything strange, "you're okay, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, are you?" his sister curled her hands around her sweater sleeves, edging forward very carefully.

"I, uh... yeah, I guess," Dipper nodded, fighting back the urge to tell Mabel that he had seen her die. Telling someone _that_ seemed too far, especially towards a happy girl like Mabel. It seemed best to keep her from worrying or getting upset. Dipper wondered if he really _was_ okay; he didn't remember making a conscious decision to attack Gideon, nor did he feel particularly bad for doing so. He thought he knew the only alternative outcome; that it was kill Gideon or be killed by him. His sister was completely unaware and to her it must have looked as if her brother had attacked Gideon for no reason.

But, when Dipper feared she would flee from him in confusion and horror, she instead stepped closer.

"I should have listened to you, Dipper!" Mabel sighed, "I thought Gideon would be like McGucket! He even had _candy_!" she emptied the remaining candies out of her pocket and onto the floor, among all the dust.

"It's alright," Dipper patted her shoulder, "we got out of it alive, so it's alright," he shrugged, trying to burn the image of her lifeless body from his mind. They had got out _this_ time, but yet...

Mabel stuck out her tongue, "are you sure you're alright, bro-bro? Usually you'd be all: ' _ooh, Mabel I told you not to do that, whomp whomp!_ '!" she then pulled a funny face and spoke in an over-dramatic impression of her brother, ending the impression by waving her arms around.

Dipper laughed, nudging her playfully, "I _did_ just stake a vampire, Mabel, it was pretty crazy!"

Her carefree smile faltered slightly and she started walking to the door, the sound of laughter felt wrong in that room, "okay, vampire slayer, let's get out of here! This place is creepy and I wanna see what McGucket is doing without us!"

Dipper followed, quietly debating in his head if McGucket would turn out like Gideon. Then, he studied the red book under his arm, flipping through a few pages. Many seemed to discuss the uses and abilities of the amulet, whilst a few were just pages full of unidentifiable symbols.

One page, however, struck Dipper as odd. An intricate drawing of the amulet sat on the page and scrawled over it; in writing frantic and red; were the words: ' _DOES NOT EXIST'_ '.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't end on a dialogue cliffhanger, it's a holiday miracle! Oh, and if you look very carefully you can see me attempting to establish a lore to this series, hoo boy.  
> Also, poor Dip, poor, poor Dip.


	4. Gifts from the Wizard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas comes early for the twins, in the form of presents and things happening beyond their comprehension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Late Christmas/New Year! Have a very long chapter that can be considered a first draft since I've just wrote this!

Dipper had quickly mastered the ability Gideon had used to levitate items; and had taken himself and Mabel over to the door where McGucket had gone through. The book had helped quite a lot with its instructions, and so Dipper had put the red tome into his backpack for safekeeping.

"This is gonna make you even lazier!" Mabel joked, when Dipper concentrated the power of the amulet once more and opened the stone doors forcefully.

"But it's pretty cool, isn't it?" Dipper beamed, looking content at the amulet in his hand, "this'll keep us safe," he pocketed it once more, resisting the sudden urge to hold onto the turquoise gem possessively. The whispers were still there; as they had been since he'd first seen the amulet; but they were becoming strangely comforting. They were a sign that Dipper still had the amulet- that he was still safe.

 

Beyond the stone door was a large hall. At least, it was likely a large hall underneath the random piles of objects littered about the place. There were books that looked ready to topple, pots and pans stacked on top of each-other, human machines bundled together to make strange contraptions... the room looked like the place where a mad genius would live.

"McGucket?" Mabel called out, and out jumped the bearded monster from a towering contraption. A few nails and screws flew across the floor as he tugged his wings free of the machine they'd gotten caught in.

"Who's sneakin' around my-" he spun around and looked at the two children with wide eyes, "-well, I'll be darned! I knew I'd gone forgot _something_! I didn't expect it to be a couple of humans, gol-ly!" McGucket squawked with laughter, ambling over to them. Mabel sniffed the oily scent coming off him.

"Whatcha doin', bird grandpa?" she rocked back and forth on her heels. Dipper, meanwhile, stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling the amulet as a weak reassurance.

"I'm workin' on my latest inventin' thingy!" McGucket responded, earning a giggle from Mabel at his feathers fluffing up in pride, "it's a big robot what cha-macallit, and when I find somethin' strong enough to power it up, it'll be able to knock through all the rocks above us! That way, we won't hafta..." he trailed off, frowning and then shaking his head violently, "eh? What were we blabbering about?"

Dipper frowned in turn, eyeing the machine with worry.

"It looks cool!" Mabel helpfully supplied, sensing the sudden tension from her brother and the helpless confusion of McGucket.

"It sure does! But, shucks, I'll work on it when I remember what it's for," McGucket chuckled, almost nervously, before browsing through a few piles of junk. The twins watched, both jumping when a few scraps of metal were carelessly tossed near them during McGucket's sudden search.

"Aha! Here is the ol' stew pot!" McGucket finally cheered, bringing out a rusty pot from a precarious pile of cauldrons and rusty metal sheets. Once again, Dipper tensed up and edged in front of Mabel, as if preparing himself to keep her out of harm's way.

"What's that for?" he asked with a shaking voice as the whispers became slightly more audible. He was getting used to the hum and background noise of the whispers, so he could tell instantly that they seemed unhappy in McGucket's presence by the guttural tones and loud hisses.

 _'Don't attack unless he attacks,'_ he relayed in his mind, he didn't want Mabel to look at him with the same fear she had when he'd staked Gideon. He could tell she was already growing attached to McGucket.

"Why, I'm makin' rat stew, of course!" McGucket tossed the cooking pot in the air, which sprouted a pair of small tattered wings and whizzed off across the hall, "ol' potty will whip up some dinner in no time! And maybe he'll give that old kook in my bath tub a piece of his mind, too!" he huffed, tapping his clawed foot on the ground a few times.

 

His foot stopped tapping when Mabel spoke up, "wow, what other cool magic tricks can you do?!" she asked, eyes lighting up. Dipper snorted softly- his sister had always been fascinated with 'magic tricks' when they were younger; they both had been, only Dipper soon figured out most were cheap gimmicks or illusions, ruining the experience for him. The 'real' magic he had seen was as terrifying as it was interesting, except for McGucket's. McGucket's magic felt as gimmicky as the wandering magician shows or the 'box of magic tricks' their mother bought them on their 7th birthday.

McGucket, though, seemed to love his magic and so conjured bright aqua flames in his hands, "it's water-fire!" he waved the hands under Mabel's nose, and she gasped when she tentatively touched the flames with one hand.

"Dipper! Dipper!" she tugged on his jacket with her other hand, "the fire feels like water! Ah, look, look! It's drippy flames! You try!" small specks of blue light fell off her hands and disintegrated when it touched the ground.

Dipper rolled his eyes and appeased his sister, though looked up at McGucket with a bewildered expression when he felt cool water running over his hand, "how do you...?"

McGucket chortled, "it's a known little fact that monsters have a natural knack for magic, more than any human!" the flames vanished into a puff of light blue wisps, "though, I can teach you kids, if y’all want!" he beamed.

Mabel jumped up and down on the spot, "You _can_?! Oh, wow! I wanna learn magic!"

Dipper considered his options, then pulled the amulet out of his pocket, "uh, McGucket? This lets me do some magic, so you don't need-"

He quickly stepped back when McGucket tried to snatch the amulet from him, a sheet of metal flying up in front of him defensively.

"Thanks," he mumbled, but found his own hand was holding the floating metal in place. He paused, then lowered the shield so he could peer over it. McGucket stared back, frowning in a serious manner that was very unlike him from what the twins had seen.

"Oh no," Mabel frowned, and against (what her brother would call) better judgement she stood between McGucket and Dipper with her arms outstretched.

"Mabel-" Dipper started, about to tell her to get out of harm's way.

However, McGucket interrupted him, "-there, now, we ain't fightin'," he spoke unusually softly, almost as if he was sane. But, once again, he shook his head along with the rest of his body, in short violent spasms. Then, he stepped back.

"I don't remember that there gem, but," he gulped, " _but_ , I know it ain't worth the trouble of keepin' it," he looked away from Dipper.

Dipper stared at him, eyebrows narrowing, "are you saying that so I'm defenceless?" he challenged. The whispers seemed to encourage his retort, and Dipper swore he felt the gem shudder with anger in his palm.

McGucket tilted his head, "huh? I don't know what... what d'ya mean?"

Mabel lowered her arms, yet kept an almost disapproving eye on her brother, "not everyone down here is nice, are they?" she sighed sadly, "I think I trust you, McGucket, but Dipper..."

Dipper raised the shield once more, huffing.

"Oh, I see!" McGucket sheepishly replied, then pulled the metal shield from Dipper with seemingly no effort, "you listen here, young man, ol' man McGucket ain't letting you injure yourself on this here sharp metal, 'cause McGucket cares for you kids! It sure is dangerous around these ruins, and out of here is... well, it's..." he waved a hand, casting his eyes downward, "... but, we'll stick down here, and we can be like... like a little family! Just the three of us, like good ol' times. Making rat stew, casting spells... oh, that reminds me, I've gotta recalibrate all those puzzles! Haha... what were we talkin' about?"

Dipper caught the sympathetic look Mabel wore, hushing the snarling gibberish of the amulet.

' _I'll see,_ ' he told the voices mentally, wondering if they could read his thoughts, ' _Mabel could be right, I trust her... but if he tries anything..._ ' the whispers fell silent, grudgingly, and Dipper realised with a strangely comfortable feeling that they could listen to his thoughts.

"You're too crazy to hurt us, aren't you?" he sighed, wondering why he felt so disappointed in McGucket. His new companion/s; the whispers; perhaps felt disappointed themselves and the feeling had transferred to him, he theorised.

McGucket merely laughed, "I'm old man McGucket!" he announced, then rushed off, leaving a trail of feathers in his wake.

 

The twins decided to follow him once more and were guided to what could be called a sitting area, with a few tyres and barrels to sit on. McGucket also pointed them to a pile of books sitting across from them, saying it would teach them magic 'for certainly sure, wizard promise!'. Then, he had rushed off to check on their 'dinner' and left them to their own devices. Dipper found none of the books matched the notes of his journal: mostly because the other books were, in actuality, car manuals.

"Bro-bro! I'm bored!" Mabel yawned, after finishing a page of doodling in one of the car manuals. She found doodles just weren't colourful or exciting enough using her brother's chewed pen.

"Mabel, I'm reading," he grumbled, gnawing on another pen as he studied a readable section on the amulet. The red book he'd picked up really was fascinating, and Dipper found himself admiring the author for their detailed observations and studies.

"Well, what does it say, dummy?" she leaned over to read herself, "wow, whoever wrote this has fancy handwriting! Ooh, and look at the _drawings_!" she then whistled, impressed.

Dipper grinned, "look at _this_ one," he flipped a few pages, to a section written in a complicated code. He jabbed an illustration of a somewhat intimidating being; a large monster with small trees growing across its ape-like back. It was wearing a party hat and was surrounded with scribbled question marks, which looked like they had been added after the drawing was made. The image was harmless, they believed, just a strange doodle of the author, perhaps...

"It's ready to party!" Mabel giggled, making Dipper laugh along with her. When their laughter faded, Dipper turned back to his page.

"What happened to your drawings, anyway?" Dipper looked up, towards the sorry-looking scribbles of monochrome rainbows and sweater designs.

"I miss my crayons and glitter," Mabel sighed dramatically, flopping over and beginning a new game of kicking the barrel across from her. She promptly stopped when the barrel shook and hissed.

Dipper looked up from the single sentence he'd managed to read and stared at the barrel warily, "what's in there?"

"Let's see!" and Mabel tore off the lid of the barrel, causing a mass of winged eyeballs to fly out with loud shrieks. During their escape, they crashed into piles of junk and sent it falling to the floor. The twins shrieked alongside the eyeballs, running to take cover under a chunk of machinery.

 

This attracted McGucket, his arrival signalled by his frantic noises and the sound of more objects clattering to the floor.

"Shoot! How did them critters get loose?!" he shouted, not visible to the twins as he was standing behind a few intact piles of objects.

"Sorry, McGucket!" Mabel called in reply, wincing when a jet of green fire shot over them and into a few eye-bats. Dipper got his amulet from his pocket and stared down at it, before attempting a similar spell. The whispers revelled in his intent and urged him, somehow without communication, to get out from his hiding place and focus energy into his palms.

"Whoa!" Mabel, who had followed her brother, exclaimed when she noticed him stand with dark blue fire swirling around his hands.

"McGucket, where are the rest?" Dipper strode after where he thought he'd heard McGucket call from. He found the old monster swinging a frying pan at a small hoard of the creatures, as if they were pesky flies.

"Right in front of ya!" McGucket huffed, then squeaked in alarm when Dipper sent his blue flames hurtling towards him and the small creatures. The fire narrowly missed his hat, as did the next couple of shots from Dipper which polished off the remaining eye-bats. McGucket nervously smoothed down his headgear, then smiled at him toothily.

' _Should have hit him,_ ' a voice snarled deep within Dipper's mind, which he brushed off with a ' _what the heck?_ '.

"You sure have a knack for using magic, boy!" he complimented, though Dipper could tell he was uncomfortable.

He felt strangely smug about this, but attempted to reassure him for kindness' sake, "only against anything dangerous," he smiled back, as insincere as McGucket, "maybe you could teach me a few more tricks."

 

McGucket suddenly scurried off, scrambling up a pile of dusty tomes. Mabel walked over to Dipper whilst McGucket searched for _something._

"What's he doing?" she laughed, in a fond tone one would use towards an amusing pet. Dipper shrugged, laughing along with her when McGucket tripped over whilst holding a square-shaped item. It looked as if it had been hastily wrapped in the dark red wool material covering it, and the string tying it together had been knotted dozens of times.

"This here," McGucket held out the item, "should teach you a lot!" he presented it to Dipper, but before Dipper could see if it was another car manual, he moved it away from his grasp.

"But, I betcha ol' Santy Claus will wanna give you this! Boy, I haven't mailed anything to Santy since..." he paused, his face scrunching up in confusion, "... wait, does Santy Claus give presents on birthdays... or do we give him presents?"

Mabel gasped, "oh my _glob_ , Dip! They have _Christmas_ down here!" she nudged her brother's side, who nodded irritably. He was curious about the mystery gift and definitely didn't want to wait until winter to receive it. Him and Mabel were already past their curfew home.

"Chris-must? Chris must do what, huh?" McGucket squinted down at Mabel, "I think I knew a Chris, once..."

Dipper snatched the parcel from him, as he was distracted.

" _Dipper Fresh Pines_!" Mabel gasped dramatically, "Santa is gonna be mad!"

"Mabel, you know Santa isn't even-" he paused, remembering his sister hadn't seen their mother creep into their room with an armful of their gifts last year like he had, "-working, this time of year," he cleared his throat.

And then he realised what Mabel had called him and crossed his arms, "and my middle name is _not_ 'Fresh'," he huffed.

"The big red guy works all year! 24/7!" she poked his nose, "and I wrote your birth certificate, Dippy Fresh!"

Dipper looked unimpressed, so Mabel poked his nose slightly less violently, "when we get back, you can make adjustments to it," she smiled, relaxing when she knew her attempt at reconciliation had worked. Dipper stopped pouting and pictured their mother coming across his 'birth certificate' lying on Mabel's dresser, laughing sadly at her daughter's bright pink glitter pen and the drawing she'd made of her brother... with sunglasses. The twins suddenly felt homesick.

McGucket nodded enthusiastically, "I saw a Sandy once!" he brought them both back to reality, back to the task of getting home.

"I can open this, can't I, McGucket?" Dipper asked.

"It was _this_ big, and had big floppy ears, and looked awful grumpy for Sandy...!"

Mabel tried to ask him, for her brother, "hey, bird grandpa, can Dip open his present? Even though it's not Christmas?"

McGucket looked surprised to see them, "oh, right! You humans! You must be hungry, I got Potty to whip up some grub, didn't I?" he looked up, then back at the twins. Dipper whistled impatiently and waved the present around as nonchalantly as possible.

When McGucket tilted his head in confusion, Dipper nearly screeched the question again, but allowed the monster to speak, "I gave you that, didn't I?" he asked.

"Yes, so could I-"

"- Shoot! I left out the sweater girl!" McGucket hit his face with his palm, "that's why you ain't opening your present, ain't it?!"

The 'sweater girl' became uncharacteristically bashful, "aw, bird grandpa... you don't have to get me anything!"

McGucket shook his head, "no, sir-ee! I don't have to get neither of you nothing, but here I am, gettin' you... this!" he clapped his taloned hands together, smoke spilling between them until he unclasped his hands. He dropped his gift into the hand of Mabel, who squealed excitedly.

"It's a cell phone! Oh, my, gosh! I've never had a cell phone, ever!" she flipped up the device.

"It's a caller gadget! You just type in numbers, press the big ol' button and a voice answers! I don't use it much these days, since... I've got a _better_ one!" McGucket rummaged in his overall pocket, revealing a much more battered and tatty cell phone than the one Mabel had. It glowed an unnatural aqua colour, as if he had imbued the device with magic. Judging by all the technology around them, some which whizzed or sparked by itself, it was likely that's what McGucket had done.

"Let me call you, bird gramps!" Mabel happily brought up the 'contacts' of the phone, finding just three on the list: 'WIFE', 'DOOR' and 'OL MAN MCGUCKT'. She chose the obvious option and, as expected, a loud telephone wrung from the device in McGucket's talons.

He gasped, "I never get a call!" he put the phone to his hear, "why, who do I have the pleasure of speakin' to, on this fine day!"

"It's me, Mabel!" Mabel giggled, whilst Dipper found the voices had retreated. He would have been concerned, if he wasn't beaming at the situation in front of him.

"Pleased to talk to ya, Mabel!" McGucket chuckled in return.

"Very pleased to talk to you too, McGucket the Wizard!" it reminded Dipper of when they were much younger, and they would play with the broken phone in their house. They would squabble over who got to use the real phone and who would have to pick up an imaginary one, but Dipper often ended up laughing when his sister dramatically spoke into the phone about imaginary disasters or gossip.

She shoved the cell phone to him, "Dipper, you say something!"

"Uh, hello," Dipper said, despite finding the scene amusing, he wondered how either of the two could be so excited. They were in the same room- even if the cell phone didn't work they could still communicate, so why were they making such a big deal out of things?

"Oh, howdy there, Dipper! You can open your present now, since your sister got hers! Sandy is sure being nice to you this year, ain't he?!"

McGucket ended the call, seemingly without pressing any buttons on his phone. He and Mabel then patiently waited for Dipper, who took a moment to study the cell phone. Neither him or Mabel had taken a proper look at a cell phone before; the most technology their home had was a TV and a radio, that was the most their mother could afford. So Dipper couldn't help but get entranced by all the buttons, and the different categories to choose on the screen. He had to force himself to hand it back over to Mabel, remembering he had something as equally cool... and whatever McGucket had given him.

 

He was pleasantly surprised to find another six-fingered hand stamped on the book the gift had turned out to be. Another red journal. Another endless flow of knowledge and mystery.

"Another book!" Mabel peered at it, "how many are there?"

"Three," McGucket suddenly said, eyes focused for a split second, "oh, I smell burning! Potty!" he quickly regained the lost look on his face, before wandering off in the direction of where he'd just came from.

 

The twins were just about to go back to where they'd been sitting, when Mabel's cell phone rang loudly. She answered it, not without looking at Dipper with a large excited smile first.

"Hello!" she greeted the caller. Dipper didn't even need to hear the screechy voice of McGucket in the other room to know he was the one calling.

"Dinner's ready, kids! Just keep heading to the left of the room until you hit a door! Wahaha! I'm ol' man McGucket!"

The call ended, and the twins followed the smell of cooked meat with rumbling stomachs.

"I really hope rat doesn't taste as bad as I think," Dipper wrinkled his nose, the smell wasn't particularly pleasant but it also didn't smell much like roasted chicken or beef.

"Maybe bird gramps uses magic to make it taste good?" Mabel shrugged, "but I don't mind, 'cause I'm hungry! I'd eat your hat if you still had it!"

Dipper touched the top of his head, yet again being reminded of his loss. He'd been too busy worrying about their situation to feel self-conscious of his birth mark, but when Mabel mentioned the hat he soon made time to put a hand on the star sign marked onto his forehead and pull a face.

Mabel noticed her mistake almost instantly, "c'mere, bro-bro," she stopped, smoothing down his bangs over the mark, "there, it's now a ninja birth mark!"

"You really can't see it?" he mumbled.

"Nope!" she patted his hair down, just to be safe, "it can strike down the bad guys when nobody expects it!" she cheered.

"Or, it can sit under my hair and never show up to anyone, ever," Dipper said, and shook off his sister's sympathetic look when they continued walking. He doubted that monsters would be any different to humans in teasing him for looking... weird. McGucket was too spaced out to notice anything about either of them, whilst Gideon and Bill Cipher had seemed to stared deep into his soul and picked him apart. The last thing he wanted was a monster getting in their way and using something as stupid as his _anomaly_ against him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is extremely Dipper centric, but I kind of just wrote whatever and didn't go over a draft ten times for once. I tried to involve poor Mabel as best as I could. Also, I felt like sneaking in a reference to Xanthar because they are the most adorable and precious member of the Weirdmaggedon Squad (a walking purple bread loaf with a party hat is an automatic fave).


	5. Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things end before they can even start.

The trio sat around a conjured flame, in a small room filled with junk and garbage. McGucket handed the twins two full bowls of... something. It looked inedible; a frothy brown liquid with dark red chunks of meat. Dipper would have rather taken his chances with his sister's infamous 'Mabel Juice', and _that_ had plastic unicorns added to it.

"Eat up your rat stew, kids! You're gonna have a long day ahead of you tomorrow!" the old monster cackled excitedly, "I ain't forgotten that I said I'd teach you some magic, which means it's pretty important! I forget things a lot..." he trailed off, then poured some stew down his beak in loud gulps. Mabel was the first to take a tentative sip of the stew, holding her nose. McGucket watched her curiously, then mimicked her actions by holding the nostrils on his beak. He also copied her when she reluctantly swallowed the stew and pulled a mildly nauseous face. Since McGucket was distracted, Dipper poured most of his stew into a grubby plant pot nearby.

"Determination!" Mabel suddenly cheered, putting her bowl to her lips and valiantly downing the entire stew in two sittings. McGucket tilted his head, then lifted his wings into the air and yelled his own cry of 'determination!' before finishing his stew.

"Human eating rituals sure are a lot of fun!" he beamed, whilst Mabel regretted throwing out the candy from earlier. Even if the person who put out the candy had turned out to be pretty evil, she still wanted something to take the taste of musty rats away.

"Okay, what now?" Dipper cast a sympathetic look to his sister, whilst simultaneously fearing her ability to eat anything without throwing up.

McGucket rubbed his beard in thought, then stretched his talons and ushered the twins to follow him. They wordlessly stood up, Mabel groaning from a sudden stomach ache.

 

McGucket lead them to the other side of the room, where a rusty bath tub sat as well as a nest of torn pillows, branches and paper. The main feature of the area, however, was the slumbering raccoon curled up on the nest.

"Oh! I almost forgot to tell you kids about my raccoon wife!" McGucket rushed over, picking up the animal and chuckling when it clawed at him, "she always gets grouchy when you disturb her beauty sleep!"

Mabel gasped, all stomach pain apparently gone, and rushed over to the small animal, "she's so adorable!" she petted the raccoon's head, only to be pulled away by a glowing blue light.

"It could have rabies or something, Mabel!" Dipper warned, then awkwardly put his sister down when he realised he had lifted her off the ground with his magic.

"My wife doesn't have ray beams!" McGucket huffed at the boy, then paused, "golly, that's such a good idea! I gotta give my raccoon wife some ray beams!"

Dipper felt his eye twitch, whilst Mabel ran back to pet the raccoon.

"How did you two meet?!" she asked, a lovestruck expression on her face. Mabel loved love, even between an old bird monster and a hissing non-sentient raccoon.

"In the ruins!" the monster said, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, "no, no... wait, that was someone else... where _did_ I meet my wife?" he mused.

"In a forest? That's their natural habitat," Dipper suggested, then theorised that a raccoon had to have entered the ruins a way different to them, since it wouldn't have been able to survive the water and drop into the ruins. That gave him hope of there being an exit, and was also something that actually made some logical sense to Dipper, so he held onto the thought.

McGucket, meanwhile, begun to ramble about his first meeting with the creature: "I was looking for some grub around the ruins... haha, we _did_ meet in here! I was looking around, for some grub... I said that already, shoot... I was looking for food, and I saw she grabbed a bat from the ground. I had my eyes on that bat for supper! So, I chased the critter down to... to, uh... someplace you kids don't need to know about, and then I grabbed the bat from her, with my beak! And then," he leaned in, pausing for dramatic effect, "our lips touched whilst we were fightin' and I proposed three days later!"

Mabel looked mildly disappointed, "three days! You didn't take her on a date? Bird gramps, you _scandal_!" she held the raccoon in her arms, which reluctantly allowed itself to be held.

"I took my wife on a date!" McGucket protested, "we rummaged around the trash for a few days, that's a date! Not to mention, our first meeting counts as a date since we smooched!" that was the limit for Dipper. The situation had gone from mildly funny to incredibly weird, and he wasn't nearly as accepting as Mabel was in terms of strangeness.

"You don't even _have_ lips!" he pointed out, "the raccoon doesn't have lips either!"

"She does, Dip-Dip!" Mabel cheerfully replied, poking the raccoon's mouth to show her brother the raccoon lips. Once again, Dipper used magic to separate her from the animal. This time, however, he picked up the raccoon. He dropped it when it started wriggling... and when McGucket scolded him.

"You put my wife down, young man!" McGucket flapped his wings, before watching forlornly when the raccoon was dropped and knocked a few piles of junk flying on its escape from the human, "now you made her mad! I hope she doesn't ground you..."

"How can a raccoon ground me?!"

Mabel stifled a laugh, "your voice cracked," that didn't help the situation.

"Tell me, McGucket! How can some animal ground _me_?! And, how can a raccoon legally marry you? It's a raccoon! And you're some monster freak! That can't work!"

Mabel no longer laughed, since McGucket had an ashamed look on his face. The same look a puppy gave when its owner shouted at it.

"Dip, go easy on bird grandpa, he's _not_ a freak, he just-" she was cut off by a sudden force tugging at her arm, away from the monster she was standing by. She broke her arm away and frowned.

Dipper, however, felt the need to press on, "-and he's _not_ your grandpa, Mabel! We're humans, and monsters hate humans," the whispers had begun, enthusiastically urging him to take action against the monster, who was corrupting his sister's mind... leading her to trust him, so he could take her soul, just like Gideon. Though they didn't speak any clear words, Dipper knew what they wanted him to do. They wanted him to fight McGucket, and win. They wanted to see his dust across the floor, accompanied by a few feathers, perhaps.

But, Dipper couldn't. Not yet. He couldn't kill something, not until he was acting in self-defence.

_'Weak,'_ one voice stood out, loud enough to make him push the whispers to the back of his mind and focus on the human and the monster before him.

 

McGucket looked betrayed, as if he considered Dipper a friend who had hurt his feelings. But, not for the raccoon incident. No, the look on his face was that of a deep-rooted betrayal that Dipper couldn't figure out.

"You can't leave," McGucket then spoke, in another moment of pure clarity that made Dipper wonder if his eccentricities and 'forgetting' was all just an act. An act to lure the twins to become defenceless and easy to kill, he believed.

"We can't?" Mabel turned to her 'bird grandpa' with a sinking feeling.

"Let's get some shut-eye, alright?" he finally sighed, after a moment of confusion and desperation flicking across his expression, "I'll find my raccoon... wife. You can go sleep wherever."

Mabel reached for the talons, to give him a reassuring pat on his hand, but thought against it, nodding instead. Dipper felt guilty, so also nodded and stuffed down the feeling of wanting to stop his tracks with a large fireball.

And with that, McGucket rushed out of the room muttering gibberish to himself.

 

Once he had left, the twins tried to make themselves comfortable by sitting against a few sturdy piles of books. They sat in silence, exhausted but unable to sleep.

"What _was_ that?" Dipper folded his arms and spoke after trying to make sense of what had happened for a moment, "I don't know if we can trust McGucket."

"You're being a butt-face, Dipper," Mabel also folded her arms, sulking, "I want to go home, too, but we should be nice to McGucket, he hasn't hurt us. And he's lonely."

"I wonder why," Dipper snorted, then coughed at the disapproving look aimed at him, "I-I mean, he's a bit eccentric, but... I guess it must suck, to be alone, with a raccoon and... uh, whatever Gideon was."

Mabel sighed, "bro-bro, don't you think he reminds you of someone?"

Dipper had no idea what she meant, "not really, who?"

" _You_ , in a way," he was about to argue he wasn't a strange bird monster when Mabel continued, "well, the both of us. We both get called freaks at school, remember? We both feel as lonely as he does, sometimes, but at least we have each-other. Imagine being all alone, with no friends... even monsters can feel that, can't they?" she looked at her feet, for once speaking in a small voice rather than her usual confident one. It made Dipper feel like a complete jerk.

"I know," he put a hand on her arm, "I was being a butt-face, I'm just stressed out, okay? I want to go home," and the whispers seemed to disappear entirely.

"I know, bro-bro," she patted his arm back.

 

They fell into another silence; Mabel stared into space and daydreamed whilst Dipper started reading the decipherable passages of his two journals. Then, they both drifted into sleep around the same time.

"Shucks," McGucket walked in shortly afterwards, holding the slumbering raccoon in his feathery arms, "like a family, huh..." he said, then vaguely decided to resist the urge to speak to himself in case it woke the two humans. He placed the raccoon onto his nest and then browsed the many towers of stuff around him.

 

* * *

 

Dipper woke from a nightmare, finding he had drooled all over a page on 'demons'; a rare type of creature the author was unsure truly existed. He couldn't remember the nightmare, but he had a sinking feeling it was related to Mabel, since he had a small moment of panic when he looked to his left and found she wasn't there. Instead, he was left with a dusty red curtain on his legs and the raccoon sniffing his backpack.

"No food in here, sorry," he patted its head, expecting to get bitten. Instead, the raccoon turned its nose at him and scurried away.

Alone, he made sure he still had the amulet. The voices were quiet.

' _Still here?'_ he tentatively asked mentally, picking the amulet out of his pocket. It hummed back, glowing faintly. Still there. It felt reserved and the hums were that of uncertainty. It made Dipper feel uneasy.

"Mabel?" he called out, putting the journal away and getting to his feet with his backpack.

 

He went to look for her and McGucket, and a small feeling of worry began to rise when he couldn't find either of them.

"Don't panic," he mumbled to himself, leaning against a wall covered in vines.

"Bird gramps," he heard a muffled voice from the other side of the wall and sprung away from it, checking it for handles or switches to let him get to the other side, "we all need to leave," Mabel sounded, oddly serious.

"I don't get what you're talkin' about, Miss Mabel!" McGucket said back and Dipper stopped to listen. His sister's reply was too quiet for him to hear, but McGucket was not quiet.

"No, no! You don't understand! I-I don't understand either... why can't we just stay here, as a big family?"

Another quiet reply. Dipper wondered if McGucket was talking to thin air that happened to sound vaguely like Mabel. Mabel wasn't usually this hard to hear.

"Huh... but I don't wanna..." more murmurs sounded, "... okay, I'll wait here. You get your brother. You can't leave without him."

He sounded upset, and Dipper only heard him because he didn't seem to have an indoor voice. Even when he was forlorn, he still shrieked and yelled his words; albeit without the enthusiasm he had when he was happy.

 

Dipper watched the wall, expecting it to move or open or do _something_. He jumped when a loud beeping noise came from behind him.

"Hello?" Mabel said, and Dipper spun around. Where did she come from? She frowned at the voice on her phone, "who's this?" she asked, but judging by her response the caller had hung up. Mabel frowned even more but laughed nervously when she saw her brother had seen her.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged, "but they said we should find McGucket to the south of this room. They, um, said to hurry..." though neither knew the caller, and hardly trusted a stranger, they both exchanged glances and decided between themselves that there was nothing else to do, if they wanted to leave the ruins.

Dipper felt that instruction was a tad ominous, "where's that?"

Mabel chuckled back, "no idea!" she smiled, despite the bleak feeling hanging over the both of them.

"But, weren't you just...?" Dipper looked at the confusion on Mabel's face and shrugged, assuming Mabel wanted to keep her and McGucket's conversation a secret from him for some reason. He tried not to let it bother him- he was keeping his own secrets from her, after all. Like seeing her die. And resetting time itself to prevent that from happening.

"Let's look around," Mabel suggested, "hopefully we'll run into bird grandpa and we can tell him we're going."

 

Sure enough, after navigating the maze of trash towers and fallen pillars the twins found a door they hadn't seen before. It was taller than the others, engraved with triangles and eyes- it looked ready to crumble to dust.

"Creepy!" Mabel poked one of the eyes and pulled a face, "ew, the eyes feel real!"

Dipper decided that was a good sign to quickly get through the door before anything else happened with it.

"Help me get this open," he requested, putting a hand on the stone door whilst making an effort to avoid touching the strange eyes. Mabel nodded and with some effort the twins pulled open the doors.

 

Before them was a long and darkened hallway, accompanied by an eerie silence and an unsettling aura.

"You're not scared, are you, Dip?" Mabel asked, smiling patiently when her brother backed away from the doorway slightly.

"Of course not," he replied, digging into his pocket to use the amulet as a light source. The amulet complied immediately and shone dimly, barely illuminating the walls of the hallway. Like the door, they were engraved. However, unlike the door, the style and patterns of the wall engravings were much different: a long row of tall trees lined the bottom of the wall, up until the middle, whilst the top wall was decorated with intricate stars and swirls. The light also shone upon a ceiling engraved with more stars, and a floor of square tiles that had seen better days. However, the light didn't show what was at the end of the hallway.

"Be careful," Dipper held his sister's sweater sleeve, wary of any more traps that might be lying around. They stepped cautiously, the slightest creak or whistle of wind making them jump. The amulet didn't make Dipper feel any more at ease, as the more they walked, the more the whispers begun to stir up. They were vulnerable, two humans stumbling around in the dark- if McGucket; or any other monster; wanted to strike and take their souls, that hallway was the perfect opportunity to do so. He had to strike first. And so he did, the moment he heard a hushed humming at the end of the hallway. Blue light bounced off the walls when his flames hit a target, and Dipper realised just after Mabel that he had hit McGucket in the knee.

 

The rest happened in a blur; McGucket yelping, Mabel tearing her arm away from Dipper with a look of horror before rushing over to the monster...

Worst of all, the voices began to berate him for not landing a successful hit on McGucket. They urged him to try again, but with Mabel in the way Dipper couldn't. All he could do was stand still and hope McGucket wouldn't strike back.

McGucket didn't strike back, and instead chuckled from where he was doubled over in pain, "I see, you really wanna get home."

Mabel tugged at a few feathers on his arm, "no, no, bird grandpa! Not like this! We don't want to hurt you!"

The voices from the amulet angrily disagreed and hissed so loud that Dipper nearly doubled over in pain himself. McGucket brushed the girl away, shakily rising to his feet before helping Mabel up.

"I don't remember much," McGucket began, whilst gently pushing Mabel back over to Dipper, "but I do remember that nobody should go through this here door, especially humans."

Mabel tried to walk back over to McGucket but stopped in her tracks when his expression turned focused and cold.

"If I let you two leave, you'll die. Like every other human before you."

A determined; if not slightly bloodthirsty; feeling swept across Dipper at those words, whilst Mabel felt frozen to the spot, "I'll prove we can survive," more blue flames spun around his hands, itching to be flung at McGucket.

McGucket bowed his head, "I see..." and with a half-hearted flourish, green beams of light begun to dance around them.

"Wait! We don't have to-!" Mabel argued, but Dipper had already hit McGucket. She dodged green jets of fire McGucket cast in retaliation, leaning against the beams of light for support. She found that the beams actually healed the odd scuff or cut she had got from her time underground, yet she felt she couldn't tell Dipper this. If the boy attacking McGucket even _was_ Dipper, any more. He was acting completely differently, the same way he acted with Gideon, and Mabel knew if she let it continue, he would...

"Dipper! Stop!" she called, running out across a small battlefield of flames and over to a stalemate that had settled between the two mages. McGucket made all of Dipper's attacks disappear into his hand, whilst Dipper had settled with dodging furiously and throwing a fireball whenever he had the chance to. At his sister's plea, he remembered he could make items levitate and so sent her flying to the side whilst attempting to pick McGucket up.

"That ain't gonna work on me!" the monster huffed, the voices from the amulet murmuring in bitter agreement. Levitation wouldn't work against a strong magic-user. Dipper gritted his teeth together and moved back to his original tactics of flinging fire at McGucket until he was a cooked turkey. Yet, keeping Mabel out of harm was draining, so his attacks were uncoordinated and weak.

' _Drop the girl,_ ' one voice advised and he did, snapping out of his trance for a moment when he heard her yell in surprise and pain. He hadn't intended to drop her so violently... had he? McGucket took advantage of the human being distracted, and Dipper yelped himself when he felt searing pain across his chest. His soul had been dragged out from him once again.

"Human souls only come out when the human is distracted," McGucket sighed, as if he regretted knowing that information, "that's your only weakness, and so many humans are focused... so many focused... critters," his eyes clouded over and he frowned at the glowing blue heart swirling around in between him and the human child. Dipper snatched at the blue heart, feeling nauseous when his fingers went straight through it.

 

McGucket began to attack the soul, rather than the vessel of the soul. Dipper quickly learned it always followed him; just a few centimetres in front. And so he swerved and ducked away from the green flames and the desperate bolts of lightning McGucket had began to throw. He needn't have- each spell McGucket cast was always aimed slightly to his left, and a few times Dipper ran into it himself.

"Dipper, he's not-!" Mabel shouted, in attempt to help without being caught in the magic herself, she was drowned out by huffs from her brother and the loud crackles of his spells. She yelled louder when blue fire smashed into McGucket's right wing.

"Stop it!" her plea rung out across the hall, and she wiped a tear from her face. Dipper stopped instantly, blue flames disappearing with ease.

"Mabel? What's..." he blinked a few times, then saw the damage he had caused. McGucket lay on the ground, breathing heavily. He felt he deserved it when Mabel ran past him and over to the injured monster.

"Oh, don't worry about ol' McGucket," McGucket chortled, "I'll heal up, when you two are off. You ain't gonna have any problem out there, I bet," he ignored the static feeling in his legs. He ignored the feeling of dread, a lost memory that urged him to stop the twins at all cost; to keep them where it was safe. He couldn't let it happen again, whatever 'it' was... yet, here he was. Letting two humans into the terrifying world beyond the door.

"McGucket, I'm sorry..." or perhaps an even more terrifying world lived within the boy, McGucket was sure he had never seen or felt magic that powerful from a single monster, yet alone a human. And he appeared to be completely lost within it. Even his apology was lost and confused.

"You kids promise me somethin', okay?"

Mabel nodded, and McGucket pulled himself together.

"You two turn around and keep walkin', don't ever look back from here. Don't ever come back here. Got it?"

Dipper nodded this time, the stern tone was directed at him and he realised. He also seemed to realise what was happening, since he grabbed his sister's hand and tugged her towards the door. The door opened moments later, accompanied by a faint 'whoosh!' that nearly had Mabel look behind her.

"No looking back, remember?" Dipper caught her eye, a smile stretched onto his face as the voices cackled and jeered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The voices are just like 'oho Dip you funny guy', whilst poor Mabel is the only cinnamon roll left in this world.  
> (Also, I haven't really re-drafted the second half of the chapter so, uh, this is my raw thought process. I cannot fight scene and used the words 'fire' and 'magic' like ten times. Oops.)  
> Anyway, thanks for reading, traveller!


	6. Falls Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get out of the ruins, Mabel is generally around 600% more chill than Dipper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pretty long chapter to make up for the fact I haven't posted for about a month. Also to fill the void that Canon GF has left in my heart.  
> :'(

Mabel followed her brother, her stomach churning at his sudden glee. She didn't look back, like she'd been told, but that didn't stop her from worrying about McGucket. She had grown attached to him, and when Dipper had hurt him...

"Bro-bro," she stopped walking, halfway down the gloomy hallway to nowhere.

"Are you okay, Mabel?" Dipper replied, breaking the rules by looking back at her with a confused look.

Mabel shook her head, "I don't... I don't know why you hurt McGucket, or Gideon, or _anyone_... it's not like you," she commented. It wasn't like Dipper at all; Mabel remembered a time where her twin had talked their mother out of killing a mouse that had made itself at home in the kitchen, and the time he had helped her carry her pet pig to the veterinary hospital, which was in another town. He valued life, just as much as she did.

"They were trying to hurt you," he replied, after a moment of consideration. Mabel was about to argue that McGucket had done anything _but_ attempt to hurt them, when Dipper began walking again. She watched him walk off for a moment, the glow of the amulet leaving her to the shadows.

"Dipper! Just promise me something, okay?" she hurried after him, tugging at his jacket. He continued walking and gently shook her off, though he looked back at her. There was still some hope of getting through to him, Mabel realised.

"Promise me just _one_ thing, bro-bro!" she repeated, in case he hadn't heard her the first time.

"What?" Dipper asked, not unkindly but not particularly welcoming either.

"We don't need to fight them," her words made the relieved whispers and gleeful voices fall quiet, which almost scared the owner of the amulet they came from, "if we befriend the monsters, nobody has to get hurt! That's the answer!"

The absence of voices, of guidance, made Dipper swallow a lump in this throat and depend on his gut instincts: "if they want to fight, I'll fight them. It's too risky to try to talk to something that wants to kill you," he decided.

"But promise me you won't attack first."

He paused, but then turned his head forward. Mabel held her breath.

"I promise."

 

The instance he spoke those words, they reached the end of the corridor. A door stood waiting; the ruins seemed to be fond of doors; half-opened to reveal a glimpse of the room ahead. Dipper saw a flash of yellow hovering in one spot, enticing him closer. On looking closer, he saw it was the demonic entity he'd made a deal with to save his sister from death. The mere sight of him brought somehow fresh memories and thoughts flooding to him: he wasn't from this timeline, he had left another Mabel to die, he wasn't able to save _his_ Mabel...

"Come on in, Pine Tree, Shooting Star," Mabel froze at the sardonic voice that boomed from beyond the door, "oh, but dust yourselves off first! I just got this floor cleaned!" the creature; Bill Cipher; cackled and waited patiently for them to venture into his domain.

 

They did, having no other choice. They couldn't look back, nor did they want to. As the setting faded into monochrome, once again, both twins braced themselves for the worst.

"Well, well, kids!" Bill appeared, right behind them to make them both jump. Dipper jumped, as intended, whilst Mabel turned around with an annoyed frown.

"What do you want, triangle guy?!" she demanded, "and you better not take my voice this time, either!"

Bill laughed, though held a dangerous gleam in his single eye, "that's _cute_ , Shooting Star, but you don't have a say in any of this," he waved a hand dismissively, "so, quit being sassy to the guy that _saved your life_!" and then his voice dropped a few octaves as his body flashed red.

Mabel looked confused, "saved my life? You didn't do anything!" she then looked to Dipper, who was giving the being in front of him a pleading look: _don't tell her, please don't tell her_.

The angry red colour dissipated back to yellow, and Bill held an expression of twisted amusement, "so, you've already got the amulet, Pine Tree! I'm impressed, and maybe a little jealous!" he blinked once and then hastily added: "that was supposed to be a wink!"

Both twins were speechless- there wasn't really much to reply to. Bill Cipher enjoyed an audience that didn't interrupt him.

"I wonder what you'll do next. That amulet is pretty powerful, almost as powerful as _me_! It really is impressive, Pine Tree! I am completely impressed!"

Dipper stared at the ground, the amulet snidely muttering something that sounded suspiciously like ' _flattery beast_ '. Mabel just waited, to see where the one-sided conversation would go.

"So impressed, Pine Tree, that I'm gonna make the offer of a lifetime!" he clicked his fingers, and images appeared on his triangular form; a pine forest, then a cave system, then a black abyss, and then a flash of metallic grey and a swirling rainbow of lights.

"This doesn't sound good," Mabel mumbled to Dipper, who agreed with a nod.

Bill's arms dropped and he feigned sadness, "Shooting Star! I thought you wanted to be friends!"

"I do, but-!" Mabel protested weakly, and that was all Bill needed to perk up and dramatically continue speaking.

"-the deal, kiddos, is I'll help you out. More than I already have, of course," a glass of purple liquid appeared in his hands and he swished it around, "you're _perfectly_ capable of handling the locals, but what you need is a guide... a friend! I'm pretty friendly, huh? I'll show you around, take you straight to where you need to go. Out of the kindness of my _pure_ golden hearts!" his small hand put itself over a golden brick near the centre of his form. The twins doubted there was anything in there, especially a 'heart'.

"But what's the catch?" Dipper asked, feeling deja vu from the words. Bill laughed loudly, mockingly.

"Still liking that brain of yours, kid," and Dipper instantly regretted saying those words _again_ , since Mabel looked downright concerned upon hearing that from the creature, "right now, hmm... I'll ask for you to throw me that journal the bird gave you."

The amulet acted up immediately, making Bill glare at the pocket it was sitting in. The voices were grudging, but urgent, they told Dipper to not hand over the journal. No matter what. It had evidence, it was useful... and, most importantly, the King would want to see it. It would all be ruined if he gave the journal to Bill Cipher.

"No," Dipper curtly said. Mabel nodded in agreement.

"That was a gift from McGucket, he wouldn't want Dipper to give it away!"

Bill pulled at his bow tie, laughing forcefully, "alright, alright! I can tell I'm not wanted by you nostalgic saps, haha, get it? Saps... Pines...! Okay, I'll seeya later! You know what to do if you need my help~!" and with a snap of his fingers, he vanished and left the twins to blearily rub their eyes in the circular room covered with yellow crystals.

 

The amulet breathed in relief and Dipper patted his pocket. He vaguely wondered if Gideon had felt the amulet act so _alive_ and if the vampire had grown attached to it. He quickly decided to not dwell on that.

"Imagine if Bill followed us all the way to the end!" Mabel exclaimed, laughing at the thought of a... very strange triangle accompanying them on their journey.

"I wouldn't get any further than this room, he's so _annoying_ ," a part of Dipper hoped; and somehow knew; that Bill had heard that and was probably cursing him for it. He felt quite indestructible with his pendant.

Mabel giggled, "let's get out of the nacho room, before he comes back to annoy us!"

 

They did indeed leave the 'nacho room', the thankfully weightless door leading them to one last corridor.

"Ugh, another dark hallway?" Dipper complained, whilst Mabel brightly smiled.

"Just one more, bro-bro!" she enthusiastically replied, "I can _feel_ it!"

Dipper sluggishly followed her when she bounded off, "can you feel if we're near a store, I'm starving," he joked, though as if on cue his stomach rumbled loudly. He supposed that's what he got for skipping McGucket's rat stew. The strangeness of his situation hadn't really gave him a chance to remember that he needed food to survive.

"Can't you magic together a sandwich?" Mabel replied back, "haha, then you'd be a-"

"-a sand witch!" a voice cheered from the other side of the door as they stopped at it. The voice was quite dopey, though endearing, and had a slight nasal quality to it.

"Oh my gosh, Dipper! The door tells jokes!" Mabel gasped, knocking on the door, "knock, knock!"

The 'door' chuckled back, "oh, uh, who's there, dude?" they went along with it, and Dipper resisted the urge to throw the door open and check what they may be up against. Even the amulet whispered a soft ' _harmless_ ' to him, as if sensing his discomfort.

"Alex!" Mabel beamed, and Dipper groaned; not _this_ one again...

"Alex, sweet! I'm-" the voice corrected themselves with a nervous chuckle, "haha, I mean, uh... Alex, who?"

"Alex-plain later!" the guffaws of laughter on the other side made Mabel's eyes shone. There was a likely chance the 'door' had never heard that one. Somehow.

Dipper smiled, though, because he felt the amulet hum with what he assumed was disjointed laughter or amusement. It was a very reserved sense of humour; different to the sheer glee and relief he felt the amulet emit after he had fought McGucket.

"Is your name really Alex, little dude?" the voice on the other side asked.

"Nope, I'm Mabel! And I'm with my brother, Dipper!" Mabel said, "we wanna pass through here, but we don't mean any harm!"

 

The door opened, and a morph of moving sand met them. The sand was forming a tubby figure with wide eyes, wearing a t-shirt, shorts and a cap made of sludgy sand. The figure looked as equally surprised at their appearance as the twins were at theirs.

"Oh, hey... you guys are humans, huh?" the sand monster scratched the muddy sand poking out from his hat, his 'hair', "that's cool, I'm Soos! Nice to meet ya!" he held out a hand, and before Dipper could even warn her Mabel reached out and shook it.

"Whoa, your hands are solid!" she gaped.

"Of course, Maple!" Soos proudly wriggled his fingers when they had done their handshake, "and you must be Dipper, right?!" he asked, when the twins had hopped out of the ruins and 'outside'.

Dipper just nodded, staring at the hand offered to him with mistrust.

Mabel felt embarrassed for him, "excuse him, Soos, we had a... bad time in the ruins," she tugged at her hair.

Soos peered past her, at the door that was cracked open, "s'weird, that door is usually locked by now. Is the ruins full of eye-bats? I heard they have their own civilisation in there!" the sand pooled around his feet shifted about, as if dying to break free from its owner and delve into the ruins itself.

"Yeah, there were a few," Dipper nudged the door behind him with his foot and it slammed shut. He felt oddly guilty and didn't like the thought of monsters snooping around where he'd...

He gulped, warily thinking of any weaknesses the monster before him could have. The amulet mused that water would probably work, or a gust of wind. Though it was much less bloodthirsty as it had been.

"There's a whole forest here!" Mabel gasped, when she finally looked away from Soos and at their surroundings. Tall pine trees surrounded them in neat rows, acting as a wall against the dark forest beyond the tidy avenue they were at. The path ahead stretched upwards, until Mabel couldn't see past the incline.

"Yep!" Soos nodded, then paused to think about something, "haha, look, guys... I guess you know the deal with humans around here?" he looked nervous, looking at the floor. Dipper froze up, staring at Soos intently whilst expecting a fight.

Mabel, on the other hand, was not expecting a fight, "we don't want to hurt anyone," she quickly said, lingering near her brother in hope that would deter him from shooting flames at the next thing that moved. It worked, to some extent.

"I don't either, Maple," Soos nodded, neither twin acknowledged his mistake, "so, uh, I'll take you to Lazy Susan, she lives in the forest and she _loves_ humans, dudes. She even tried to convince King Stan to not..." he trailed off, clearing his throat, "uh, anyway, she'll help out. Pines Village isn't that dangerous but it's best if you guys don't suddenly show up and scare everyone. Heh, no offence!" he put his hands up and Dipper realised that Soos was scared of _them_. Two small humans. The thought of such powerful creatures fearing _him_ somehow made him feel worse; surely they would attack and lash out more against a predator than a prey. And he knew he couldn't meet any expectations placed upon him to be a formidable threat. Not at his current state.

Mabel patted his arm, then walked alongside her brother when he relaxed. Soos double checked to see if the twins were following, when he was sure they were he made his arms slightly larger to clear a path into the dark woods.

 

The forest was darker than the main road, but Soos seemed to have no trouble in navigating a worn path among the tall trees and bushes. Within moments they were at a cosy wooden cabin in a clearing. Soos went to speak, then dropped his arms and made a sudden realisation.

"Wait, Lazy Susan is at the diner now" he hit his head with his hand.

Dipper, and his stomach, heard the word 'diner' and decided his mistrust could be temporarily put aside.

"Is it far? Could you get some breakfast? Soos, buddy... pal..."

Soos shuddered at that. Dipper wondered what he had done wrong.

"Sure is chilly around here!" Soos chuckled back, "and, sure thing, little dude! I'll get Lazy Susan here with some doughnuts, they're the best in the underground!" and with that, he sunk into the ground.

"Argh!" Dipper sprung away from the spot Soos had disappeared into.

Mabel just gaped in wonder, "that's so _cool_!"

 

Five minutes later, and Soos arrived with 'Lazy Susan' hurrying into the clearing after him. She looked almost human herself, with long, scraggly grey hair and a plump figure. What clearly made her a monster, however, was her feline eyes; one closed, the other stuck on whatever she trained it on; and shaggy clumps of fur across her skin. Of course, there were also the long shaggy ears, bushy tail and manicured nails.

On second thoughts, she looked more of a wizened old cat wearing a human face and a waitress dress.

"Oh, aren't you two the cutest!" she purred, ambling over to ruffle the twins' hair.

"You're a cat-lady!" Mabel looked up at Lazy Susan with an excited smile.

"I _am_ a lady, and a cat, that's right!" Lazy Susan looked back, encouraging the human for her intelligence, "humans are so small and smart!" she clapped her hands together, her ears twitching. Mabel squealed at the sight.

Soos nodded, standing next to Dipper, "and they tell great jokes!" he added. Dipper was silent, to concerned by the lack of doughnuts to analyse the situation.

"Come inside! I cleaned up last year, so it should be fine for humans!" she chortled, delicately moving up the steps to her home, "you two must be parched _and_ famished! I'll make some sweet tea, and you can help yourselves to cookies, wink!" she ended her sentence by moving her closed eyelid up for a moment, to 'wink'. Mabel smiled warmly and followed, whilst Dipper followed his stomach to the sound of cookies.

"Hi there, Soos!" Lazy Susan poked her head out of the cabin window, "are you staying too?" she asked.

Soos shook his head, "nah, I gotta get back to work," he sheepishly replied, "see you guys later!" he called to the twins. They waved from the doorway, both feeling at ease for once.

 

The tea and cookies were much more relaxing than their 'tea party' with Gideon. First of all, Lazy Susan didn't live in a crypt like the vampire had; her cabin was warm and decorated with frilly laced blankets and doilies, the walls lined with cross-stitched of cats and photographs of her and a hairy figure that grew or shrunk slightly in each photograph. She had a lounge, dining room and kitchen nestled in the same space, yet it didn't feel cramped. It felt very homely, in fact.

Second of all, she didn't box them into a conversation, instead opting to put on some tea and hum to herself.

Third of all, she passed them a tin of cookies that were both home made and delicious- albeit very sweet. Somehow, they cured Dipper of the aches and pains from fighting McGucket and Gideon.

Lazy Susan watched him eat, sipping her tea, and when Dipper looked back with a questioning look she chuckled, "sorry, sweetie! I just noticed you're awfully skinny! I didn't know humans could be this small!"

Mabel chewed on her lip, expecting some kind of outburst. They received comments like that at school, kids poking fun at the 'scrawny' twins and their thrift store clothes that hung off them. They were, by no means, children of poverty. Yet they were hardly rich, and they considered many things to be a luxury: designer clothes and large meals included.

"I don't eat a lot," Dipper shrugged. He was smart- he knew if he acted up or frightened the monster, they would lose a possible source of food and shelter. Not to mention, the amulet had a reserved feeling to it and permitted him to his own devices. He wasn't compelled to rid the world of the monster: she wasn't in his way, though he imagined it would be quite easy to do so. But it would grant him no benefit, so he didn't consider it further.

Mabel heaved a sigh of relief at her brother's tranquil state, and then began cramming cookies into her mouth, "thish ith great!" she spoke, spewing crumbs everywhere.

"Ew, you got crumbs on my arm!" Dipper edged away from her from his chair, in a moment that was familiar and _normal_ for the both of them. It felt as if they were at home, or at least a strange relative's house, rather than miles underground and far away from where they should be.

Lazy Susan laughed, both of her eyes shutting. She carefully put her tea cup down after her amusement faded.

"Soos mentioned you want to pass through here, don't you?" she smiled warmly at them, holding just a slight look of concern for their ambitions.

Mabel nodded, whilst Dipper explained, "we want to leave, our Mom is probably worried sick..."

Lazy Susan's opened eye suddenly watered, "o-oh, of course! I would be worried too, if my boy was missing," she sniffed, "well, he's more of a _man_ now, but..." and she waved a paw off-handedly.

Before the siblings could respond, Lazy Susan continued to speak, "anyway, it's a dangerous place for small human folk around here! You'll need a disguise!"

Dipper frowned back at her, "a disguise? What kind of disguise?" and as if on cue, she rose up from her seat and bustled over to the nearest drawer, stopping only to dab at her eye with a handkerchief.

"That's where my rocks come in handy!" she retrieved two gemstones attached to strings: one was purple whilst the other was blue. Dipper paused to peer at them, and felt his amulet stir up with... amusement? The laughs that emitted from it were unnerving, far more unnerving than how the voices had been with McGucket. It didn't feel as... familiar, either. It was a laugh that looked down upon this monster and her 'rocks'. Dipper found a smirk itching to move across his face. His logic prevented it, why would he smirk at something he didn't even know about?

"Shiny! Ooh, what do they do?!" Mabel gratefully accepted the purple charm and dangled it in front of her face, studying it with interest.

"They keep you disguised! I got a bunch of 'em from the store in town, they were on sale!" Susan replied, beaming with pride at her own explanation. Dipper shot Mabel a look that told her not to bother with asking for a more specific response: the monster didn't seem entirely aware of herself or her surroundings.

 

Dipper then pulled a sceptical look and put the blue gem charm around his neck. Mabel gasped loudly and dramatically, pointing at her brother whilst Lazy Susan put her hands together happily.

"What?" he grumbled back. He didn't appreciate being pointed at.

"You're a _deer_!" she went to touch the space just above his head, her hand phasing through what she thought were antlers.

"He does look like a dear, doesn't he?" Lazy Susan commented, "so _cute_!"

Dipper didn't want to look cute. He wanted to look manly. So he carefully took the charm off, whilst Mabel threw her own charm over her head. The moment she wore it, Dipper saw a horn poke out of her forehead and her bottom half was that of a horse with wings.

' _Monsters won't hit you if you look cute,_ ' a voice urged him, one that sounded almost like a sarcastic and insane triangle, only... less insane and sarcastic.

"This is so weird," he put the amulet back on, "we look like monsters?"

Lazy Susan nodded, 'winking' another time, "you _are_ monsters now, as long as you wear that charm!" her ears twitched, before flattening, "oh, but some monsters might be able to see through it, you both should take care around those with really strong magic, like..." she looked down, solemn, and didn't finish her sentence. She had brought up a bad memory for the entire kingdom, one she didn't wish to share with these new humans. Not yet, perhaps not ever.

"Dipper, Dipper! What am I?!" Mabel stood up, which appeared somewhat strange as her illusionary horse legs went through the chair and table.

"A unicorn, centaur... thing, with wings," her sibling described as best as possible, scratching the back of his head, "and your hair is pink."

Mabel gasped at the small lie, before catching her brother's snickering and sulking, "bro-bro, you can't tell a girl she has the best hair in the world when she _doesn't_!"

She sulked until Dipper finished laughing and said, "you _do_ have the best hair in the world," and then she giggled with a 'aw, stop it you!'. They both laughed, as Susan smiled fondly at them both.

 

She walked them to the village, once they had finished their tea and cookies, down the avenue of trees and through a few courtyards and spaces of monsters that huddled around and scoffed at her.

"These _teenagers_ ," she rolled her eye back at them, "you ignore them, they sure can be nuisances! They stole my frying pan, once! I was trying to fish with that!"

As if on cue, one 'teenager' monster stepped in front of them, with a welcoming sign of 'Welcome to Pines Village!' just behind him. The monster looked ghoulish, with sunken eyes, pale skin... and loads of acne.

"Hey, what are you doing with these dorks, lady?" he huffed.

"We're going into the village, silly!"

The monster snorted, "where did they come from? And what's the antler-kid supposed to be?"

Dipper decided that since the amulet wasn't urging him to attack he would just have to snark back at the monster, "what are _you_ supposed to be?" and Mabel yelled an 'oh SNAP!' to support him.

"Robbie," Lazy Susan warned, but in a friendly tone, "I'll tell your parents that you were picking on these kids, unless you let us through!"

"Ugh, whatever!" he shrugged, though backed off quickly at the mention of his parents.

The cattish woman watched him leave, "excuse him, kids. He is a grumpy thing, that Robbie... the village is much friendlier!"

 

Her words proved to be true, from the moment they stepped into the village boundaries. It was a village nestled in a forest clearing, with homes made of wood and stone. Flowers were dotted around, and a river ran to the eastern side of the village; next to this river, the twins could see a mud-like structure shaped like a house from a storybook, where an old monster similar to Soos sat on a sand chair upon her muddy porch. Around them, monsters peered at them with intrigue or fondness; the village was so used to teenagers, that they gladly accepted the sight of two young monsters.

"Well, howdy, Miss Susan!" two voices chorused to their left, and the twins turned to find a green two-headed monster wearing a police uniform. They looked like a large blob of green slime.

"Good afternoon, boys!" Lazy Susan greeted. Dipper had little sense of time in the underground, but he was certain it was morning.

"Looks like you've picked up a couple of strays again, huh?" the tubby head chuckled, his goo moustache twitching as he talked.

"That wouldn't be the first time!" his partner added, sticking a hand out for a hand shake. Both twins accepted awkwardly, unsure of how to react to such a strange monster.

"Oh, no, no! These just want to get to the capital!" Lazy Susan shook her head, her ears flapping around, "I think," she added, unsure of herself.

The first head looked at the other one, before beaming, "well, I'll be darned, Durland! Looks like we have a couple of city slickers!" and then the other arm of the monster ruffled both twins' hair. The feeling was similar to that of cold water being dumped across the twins.

Lazy Susan laughed back, "you'll scare them off, Sheriff! And Soos made good friends with 'em, too!"

The 'sheriff' chuckled back, "well, welcome to the village, kids!"

"It ain't like your fancy capital, but it's home to us!" Durland added proudly.

" _You're_ my home, Durland," the Sheriff fondly replied. Durland gave him a meaningful look, prompting Susan to drag the siblings away with a: 'we'll leave you two, wink!'.

"Wait, me 'n Blubs were just kidding!" Dipper noted that Durland got flustered and split apart from 'Blubs', whilst Sheriff Blubs laughed awkwardly in return.

"So they're not always together," he mused.

Lazy Susan nodded, "just on patrols, though they both like being stuck together like that... they're two halves of one whole, like coffee and omelettes!"

"They're in love, bro~!" Mabel sung happily, "but they don't want to admit it~~!"

Susan laughed at the impromptu musical number, "that's right, girlie!"

"The power of Mabel sees all!"

Dipper looked back again, finding the cops had partially merged back together and were speaking to a small tree creature.

 

Lazy Susan stopped at a cabin that seemed to be made of a giant log. A large sign was placed above that read 'Greasy's Diner'.

"And this is where I'll drop you pair off!" she announced, "oh, wait, wait!" she scurried into the diner quickly.

Dipper tapped his foot impatiently.

A few monsters walked past, whispering among themselves about 'city folk' and how the girl monster was 'strange hanging around such a _weird thing_ '.

"Hey, Dipper, how's-" Mabel was cut off by one of the windows of the diner opening suddenly behind them, making the pair jump.

"Fresh doughnuts on the house!" Susan called, attracting a few monsters to rush to the window, "not _you_!" she huffed.

Dipper knew the doughnuts were his birthright, and so awkwardly edged closer to the window; and the group surrounding it; in hopes of getting the bag of doughnuts Lazy Susan was waving around.

' _Use magic,_ ' something told him, a patient voice of a female. Dipper resisted. It was far too risky. He didn't want to end up killing something in front of Mabel again.

' _Just use magic!_ ' the same voice repeated, slightly annoyed.

"I can't!" he hissed back.

"Catch it, Dipper!" Mabel cheered, and before he could argue he had no hand-to-eye coordination the bag of doughnuts were thrown at the rabble.

 

Dipper didn't _intend_ for it to happen. He didn't even cast the spell, not consciously. Eyes turned from the bag suspended in mid-air to him. They knew he did it. Was it normal? Could any monster do that?

The looks of sheer disbelief said otherwise.

"I-I can explain!" he held up his hands, and the bag dropped onto the ground. He was going to be attacked by an onslaught of monsters for _nothing_ , now.

"Explain?" one monster tilted his head; a young wolf with bushy red fur; "dude, that was _awesome_!"

' _Oh, the youngest! So grown up!_ ' _And D-_ ' the female voice collapsed back into the murmurs of the amulet. Dipper _felt_ her disappear back into the background, only just realising she had stood out in the first place.

"Who was that?" he murmured to himself, before looking back to the monsters, who were now cheering.

That was unexpected. Dipper smiled back nervously when the others around the pup spoke in agreement.

"Such control!" a larger wolf boomed.

"Got it!" the small tree creature from earlier excitedly said.

"So powerful!"

"You cast it so quickly!"

"Just like-!"

"You should think about-!" the fascination and compliments faded into a mass of grinning monsters and Dipper suddenly felt suffocated by all the attention.

Dipper retreated, right into Soos, who held the bag of doughnuts out to him.

"That was pretty sweet, dude," he said.

"Uh, thanks," Dipper replied, "where's Mabel?" he felt slightly faint when his sister had vanished from where she had been standing. His mind shot back to Gideon, to her hanging limply in the air, to her soul glowing like a dim candle...

"Hey, she's right here, it's fine, dude!" Soos sensed his panic, side-stepping to reveal Mabel was just behind him and was speaking to another red wolf. The wolf puffed out his chest, saluted, and then sprinted off before Dipper could even say anything.

"You okay, bro-bro?" she tilted her head at his pale expression.

" _No_! I mean, yes! I'm fine!" he shook his head, "you're fine, right?"

"Yeah... why wouldn't I..." Mabel frowned and Dipper found himself freaking out even more. She knew. She had to know. Mabel knew everything, he couldn't keep anything from her. He had to tell her. He had to tell her that he saw her die.

"Humans gotta breathe, right? Take deep breaths," Soos advised. Dipper didn't even notice that his breathing was erratic. It got the attention of the other monsters, who sheepishly went back to their lives.

"Um, Soos?" he had to take his mind away from the _dead_ time-line, and so choked out a question, "we don't look _different_ to you, do we?"

Soos patted his back and chuckled, "the extra legs and horns sticking out of your heads? That's normal here!" Mabel laughed alongside him.

"Let's eat our doughnuts somewhere cool, bro-bro!" she happily spoke, reminding Dipper that she was _alive_. He smiled back, reassuring her that he too was alive... and himself.

"How about the library?" Soos suggested, "it's got loads of joke books!" Dipper was about to question if he could eat doughnuts in a library, but then he thought of all the books and fell quiet. He wanted to see what books the monsters wrote. The bag of doughnuts in his hand could wait.

"Someone has that nerd face on~!" Mabel sung, "onward, to the library!" and then she grabbed both Soos' and her brother's hands.

"Yeah, reading!" Soos cheered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another barely edited draft, haha! I also got attacked by plot bunnies halfway through. And I totally made Lazy Susan OOC (so I had to edit half of her dialogue to make her vaguely resemble her as the kooky waitress we all know and love). Hopefully this is mildly interesting and/or readable, I know there's a lot of GF/UT crossover fics out there, I want mine to have its own individuality so I've got a lot of plot and backstories planned.   
> And, uh, I may or may not have made Dip a poor anxious wreck...


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